the year of no mistakes

These are the days of resolutions. Not just January of our new year, but any time, any day. Anis Mojgani, one of my favorite poets, writes that each year, he and his friends name the year after each other. The year of the Anis, the year of the Rose(s), the year of Nat, etc. Eventually, after his friends each had their year, they named the year after people they didn’t know, like the neighbor who stomped around upstairs. The year of stomping. Then onto more creative things, like the year of the sun princess.

Once, they called it the year of no mistakes. At first, Anis thought about how careful he would be with each decision he had to make; so intentionally wise. This can also be quite intimidating with pressure. He then had the realization that it’s not actually perfection that he had to live in, but the idea of acceptance- that we literally cannot make mistakes.

All the mistakes that we dub wrong trigger this feeling of shame. These are actually tools for better living that we can learn from. We are able to learn what we don’t want to repeat and grow from there. Every time we make a blunder, instead of stepping towards negativity, step back, observe, reflect, and make the decision of whether you want it to repeat or not.

An example: the other day, I woke up after a night out and tried to put everything together. My head hurt, I scanned my memory, looked through my messages, and blushed. Ugh……… I wondered if I needed to buy ‘I’m sorry’ bottles of wine for anyone or if all was as cool as I remembered, with as swiss cheesy my memory was holding up.

Instead of calling drinking so much of a mistake, my awareness heightens and I do not fill up on regret, but understood how I could make the next mornings a little better. (By the way, no ‘I’m sorry’ bottles of wine needed to be given out, but stored instead, for next night out.)

The shame that we sometimes create for ourselves can shift away from that infamy, and into this idea of continuous growth.

2015 was full of goodness and hardships, as each other year is, and as it should always be. Many dreams were lived. Even though they weren’t as I had dreamt them, it doesn’t make any of them wrong, by any means. It teaches me what needs to be changed.

I made a decision to be with people who reflect joy, love, and goodness, because those are the energies I try to bounce off. This was hard because who I love and who I am full of these energies with are not always the same. When struck with negativity, I am trying to remold it into something good, but that is not always my place. So, I make my way somewhere else to grow, rather than regress.

2015 smacked us around, didn’t it? Here’s to taking the cuts and bruises and responding in art and learned wisdom. Dark spaces of mine were brought to light and instead of dubbing them as mistakes, I acknowledge them as bits of tough life. No matter what kind of life it is, it is good; it is all a gift.

I tried to spend my time with people who are focused on goodness. In Nepal, I volunteered with humble people who gave up all they knew to serve strangers who watched their pasts crumble into rubble around them. We found ourselves surrounded by the Himalayan beauties and lovers of light. This was a reminder that if you join the love club, everything will glow for you. Within this glow, you will find happiness and radiate.

I hope you find your days to be filled with wisdom, light, joy, and empty of mistakes. Here’s to the most delightful 2016, tumbling us homeward, wherever that may be.